We went to the Starboard in Dewey Beach last night, enjoying some refreshing Bud Lites, and in walks three way over the limit drunk, obnoxious, ladies wearing matching high waisted shorts so ugly that a mirror broke in every beach bathroom each time they looked at it.
Our first thought was "yup, they went to Jam" - but it was Sunday; Jam's on Saturday.
The ladies began a 3 person twerkfest of embarrassment. It was bad. It wasn't even twerk music. Just some chill songs by an acoustic couple having a chill time.
But not for the ladies. They wanna twerk. The guys they were with seemed pretty awkward...like there's this lady twerking on me, what do I do? And how unlucky are we that we attract the only ladies in ugly high waisted shorts?
The ladies in ugly high waisted ugly shorts eventually began falling over, leaving drinks everywhere, and entertaining everyone watching them. You know how when you go to a bar and it's just a relaxing chill night, but there's always ONE person dancing all crazy - this was them.
One of the ladies was a short, whalish, ginger. She resembled a troll you'd find under the Delaware Memorial Bridge. Her fat piggish ham bottom hung out the back of her shorts and spoiled drinks within a 5 foot radius.
Her tall friend looked like a tree dressed in ugly high waisted shorts. Or maybe a scarecrow in ugly high waisted shorts.
And the third girl in ugly high waisted shorts was wearing sunglasses inside a dimly lit Starboard at 11pm.
Would they still be creepy if they weren't in high waisted shorts? Nah, just people having fun.
No person should ever wear shorts so high that it covers their belly button and I thought we left that disgusting fashion fail in 2013.
High waisted shorts are haggard.