by Frank

September 10, 2021

If you wanted to be confused about the world, but feel a little bit better about yourself, then here ya go.

I have no clue- what’s going on or why she’s there, but dang I am just glad to be home sitting at my desk and not in a pile of grass with my muffintop sticking out or my hair three blocks down the street. We’ve all had a rough night or two, but boy, this is something else! What was she doing last night!



OK, so did she just say “I GOT SH*T IN MY MOUTH” or was I hearing things?

The last time I had sh*t in my mouth was (checks watch) not ever, because I ain’t gonna pass out in the grass unless it’s my own back yard and I don’t even have a back yard anymore!

But when I did, it was after having too many Natty Ice’s and I was lit, totally seeing doubles. I was also a teenager and not a full grown adult, so there ya go with that one!

That doesn’t top my worst night ever though. Celebrated a birthday and drank Long Island Ice Teas all night. Except, they made the REAL kind that was straight liquor and I never had them before. So sure enough, I was like ten of those in and ended the night in an alley, puking, then sharing a blanket with some homeless dude telling him he’s gonna turn it around. I’m pretty sure he said, “nah man, you are!”

And then my step-dad picked me up and tossed me in the garage of their house. I woke up the next day on a couch in the garage and asked them “how’d I get here” and that’s when the story got told. Haven’t drank those things since!

So what’s your worst night?

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