by Frank

November 30, 2020

He will probably win every argument in this marriage (probably, not guaranteed). He’s a big burly bodlybuilder from Kazakhstan and he was in a relationship with a doll, but then he took it another notch up the weirdness scale and married it.

No seriously, he really did.

His name is Yurii Tolochko (his IG) and his wife-doll’s name is Margo. The NY Post says she looked “a bit stiff in her revealing white gown as she clutches a bouquet of flowers and stares into the distance” and boy, was that an understatement.

The newlyweds had a first dance too, and I’m guessing his wife won’t be on Dancing with the Stars anytime soon. He also put a ring on the dolls cold rubbery finger and I’m pretty sure she didn’t complain about it. In fact, he could’ve gotten her a sweet cubic zirconia and she wouldn’t even be the type to post it on Facebook or call a jeweler to ask how much it costs.

If there’s anything weird we’ve seen this year, it’s definitely this. But hey, he’s got a girlfriend and I don’t. Also, I can’t afford one of those dolls right now, or I would have like five girlfriends. One propped up in the kitchen pretending to make me a sandwich, one looking like she’s using the vacuum, another plopped in the laundry room accomplishing nothing, one standing at the window always staring at the neighbor, and finally one sitting in my desk chair answering all the weird emails I’ll get after saying these things.

But to be honest, there’s one more thing more weird than this.

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Donald Trump Jr is 42-years-old and his step-mom Melania is 50. Having a stepmom who’s only eight years older than you must be seriously weird.


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