Nicolas Cage just got married for the fifth time, during a freaking pandemic, and his new wife is 26-years-old. He is more than twice her age.

Meanwhile, I can't even get a date on any of the dating apps. It's almost like the people on there are all fake, or they are just so used to swiping that they can't appreciate a good funny guy when they see one. Or perhaps my name isn't Nicolas Cage and I have a ton of money from all my weird movies.

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Her name is now Riko Cage and here's what Yahoo posted to confirm the marriage:

The National Treasure actor tied the knot with girlfriend Riko Shibata in Las Vegas on Feb. 16, PEOPLE confirms.

"It's true, and we are very happy," Cage, 57, tells PEOPLE in a statement.

The wedding was a "very small and intimate wedding at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas," according to a rep for Cage.
The ceremony was held on February 16 "to honor the birthday of the groom's late father."
Shibata, who wore a wore a handmade Japanese Bridal Kimono from Kyoto, walked down the aisle to "Winter Song" by Kiroro — her favorite song.

Cage, who wore a Tom Ford tuxedo, and Shibata exchanged traditional Catholic and Shinto vows with poetry from Walt Whitman and Haiku also included in the ceremony.

After the wedding, the happy couple attended a small celebration with Cage's ex-wife, Alice Kim — whom he remains very good friends with — and their son Kal-El, 15.

The couple met in Shiga, Japan, more than a year ago.

Shibata's name on the marriage certificate posted on the Clark County Clerk's Office was listed as Riko Cage.

Prior to their wedding, which was first reported by the Daily Mail, the newlyweds were photographed for the first time together in February 2020 while making a visit to Cage's nine-foot pyramid-shaped tomb at a New Orleans cemetery. (Cage bought back his tomb in 2010 for his future burial.)

She sounds like a Mortal Kombat character with the Cage last name.

What does a woman her age see in a man his age? It has to be the money.

I don't know why someone her age would see a man twice her age and be like, "yeah, that looks good."

Nicolas Cage is three years away from being 60. His wife is going to be 29 married to someone who's 60-years-old.

He's literally old enough to be her grandparent.

Not that I'm shaming guys who marry young women, because I would totally marry a 30-year-old if I was 60 and had the chance.

But still, this is just weird.

Ladies, how do you feel about dating or marrying a guy twice your age?